30 Rock quote of the week -- 1/17

Liz to Jack, when they are forced to share a bed: "Which way do you want to sleep together? Face to face, or butt to butt?"

Jack to Liz, in that same bed: "It goes without saying that nothing will happen in this bed tonight. And I am referring, of course, to your... digestive failings."

(I'm helpless against a good fart joke. I admit it.)

30 Rock quote of the week -- 1/10

The Adoption agent to Liz, after Liz says she has updated her file: "You've moved from the well-meaning lesbian pile to the Found a man, comma, living a lie pile."


Liz: "You've gone off the rails, Jack."
Jack: "Thanks for the compliment, Lemon. Train travel is for hobos."

New Girl quote of the week -- 1/22

after the boys tell Jess she's a know-it-all: "I'm the worst know-it-all in the world. Please. I hate hyperbolic speak. Please."

New Girl quote of the week -- 1/15

Nick to Jess: "If you're gonna mess with my sink, put some goggles on. Your eyes are twice the size of normal eyes, it's a bigger target."

New Girl quote of the week -- 12/4

CC to Schmidt: "My mother is going to hate you. You're Jewish, I mean she really hates them."

Schmidt: "Everybody hates the Jews. Your mom is in the majority."

30 Rock quote of the week -- 12/6

Jack's mom, after suffering some kind of ailment: "If this turns out to be a stroke, you're in charge of plucking my chin."

New Girl quote of the week -- 11/27

An episode about uteruses and fertility. Very funny, although it hit a bit too close to home. (and that's about as personal as I ever get on this public blog.)

Jess, talking about her uterus: "It's The Grapes of Wrath in there. "

Jess: "Being a woman sucks."
Nick: "Preaching to the choir. Women are the worst."

Jess: "Who's gonna lay a flag down on this sweet, sweet continent?"