New Girl quote of the week

Nick, in preparing to kiss Jess: "Okay, 3,2.... I'm actually not gonna do a count. That's not my style when I kiss. I don't count down."

30 Rock quote of the week -- 1/24

Upon learning that they are getting some children to adopt, Liz says to Criss: "Okay, kids coming, show to save, DVR at 98%, but I'm just never in the mood to watch Treme. Okay, first things first, I'll watch a bunch of Tremes."

30 Rock quote of the week -- 1/17

Liz to Jack, when they are forced to share a bed: "Which way do you want to sleep together? Face to face, or butt to butt?"

Jack to Liz, in that same bed: "It goes without saying that nothing will happen in this bed tonight. And I am referring, of course, to your... digestive failings."

(I'm helpless against a good fart joke. I admit it.)

30 Rock quote of the week -- 1/10

The Adoption agent to Liz, after Liz says she has updated her file: "You've moved from the well-meaning lesbian pile to the Found a man, comma, living a lie pile."


Liz: "You've gone off the rails, Jack."
Jack: "Thanks for the compliment, Lemon. Train travel is for hobos."

New Girl quote of the week -- 1/22

after the boys tell Jess she's a know-it-all: "I'm the worst know-it-all in the world. Please. I hate hyperbolic speak. Please."

New Girl quote of the week -- 1/15

Nick to Jess: "If you're gonna mess with my sink, put some goggles on. Your eyes are twice the size of normal eyes, it's a bigger target."