New Girl quote of the week -- 12/4

CC to Schmidt: "My mother is going to hate you. You're Jewish, I mean she really hates them."

Schmidt: "Everybody hates the Jews. Your mom is in the majority."

30 Rock quote of the week -- 12/6

Jack's mom, after suffering some kind of ailment: "If this turns out to be a stroke, you're in charge of plucking my chin."

New Girl quote of the week -- 11/27

An episode about uteruses and fertility. Very funny, although it hit a bit too close to home. (and that's about as personal as I ever get on this public blog.)

Jess, talking about her uterus: "It's The Grapes of Wrath in there. "

Jess: "Being a woman sucks."
Nick: "Preaching to the choir. Women are the worst."

Jess: "Who's gonna lay a flag down on this sweet, sweet continent?"