The Office quote of the week -- 3/8

Jim asks Dwight why he has so much saliva, and Dwight answers: "All I had to do is think about pie and my salivary glands did the rest. "

The Office quote of the week -- 12/8

Andy: " mistletoe is not an excuse for sexual assault."

The Office quote of the week -- 12/1

Quote from Dwight: Do you wish every exercise was strutting around the gym like The Fonz?

The Office quote of the week -- 11/10

I usually like my quote to be a little more succinct than this one, but what are you gonna do?
Pam and Dwight are trying to figure out if Jim is lying about saying that the temp isn't cute, Pam asks Jim if he has any friends to set her up with (obviously, this is Kelly Kapur's idea). So, they look up some guy online...

Kelly: "Ew! I mean, guess he could be okay with hair. You should see if he would get hair plugs."
Pam: "I don't think Jim cares about his hair."
Kelly: "Well, I do, okay. It's called being a nice person."

The Office quote of the week 5/19 Season finale

You know, something has really been bugging me this season. Why is Erin on this show? Is she supposed to be funny? I think she's so annoying. I don't get it.

Okay, moving on...

Lots of funny quotes in this episode...

1. Phyllis, taking about the baby that she placed for adoption -- "It was a big year for babies. Porky's came out."

2. Dwight -- "Bread is the paper of the food industry. You write your sandwich on it."

3. Ray Romano -- "I'm leaving my other job because they were all... jerks. You have your jerk wads and your jerk offs, so between the wads and the offs, I just had to get out of there."

4. Oscar -- "Angela is engaged to a gay man. As a gay man, I'm horrified. As a friend of Angela's, horrified. As a lover of elegant weddings... I'm a little excited. "

5. Ryan -- "How do I know Robert is gay? He 'liked' my Facebook photos... at 3:00 in the morning."

6. Gabe -- "I'm a terrific hugger. I've been with a bunch of girls where that's basically all they want to do."

I could quote Ricky Gervais, but since it made no sense (as usual, ipso facto) I'll just note that he's a genius and be done with that.

The Office quote of the week -- 5/12

Acting manager, Dwight: I expect all of you to be on your best behavior, which means none of you will be insubordinate, nor will you foment insurrection.

Jim: If we've already fomented insurrection, may we be grandfathered in?

The Office quote of the week -- 5/5

Andy, speaking about Deangelo: "If he was sexist, I'd be able to tell. I took a crapload of Women's Studies courses at Cornell. And I wrote my own companion piece to the Vagina Monologues called The Penis Apologies. So I think I know a thing or two.

The Office quote of the week -- 4/21

Ryan: I love when people say things are 'like crack' who have never been on crack.

The Office quote of the week 4/14

Deangelo explaining his peanut allergy: "Last time I was exposed to a peanut I was itchy for three days. I had to take baths constantly. I missed the OJ verdict. I had to read it in the paper like an IDIOT."

are you watching?

I think most people would agree that "The Office" has been hit or miss this season. Could Will Ferrel make this show great again?

The Office quote of the week -- 2/10

Michael Scott, after being accused of PDA'ing in the office: "Whispering and tickling have their place in business."

The Office quote of the week --1/20

Disclaimer: I'm an avid flosser and have only missed a day or two since high school. This quote made me giggle.

Michael: "I made a resolution to floss and I did it. 12:01, January 1st, BAM! Blood everywhere."

This scene also made me giggle. I think this is the first time that Creed said something that made me laugh.

The Office quote of the week -- 10/21

Daryl: "I'm very busy with time senstive work."
Andy: "Not to go all Sherlock Holmes on you, but I can tell by the reflection in your glasses that you are entering points in Weight Watchers dot com."
Daryl: "If you don't enter them immediately, you forget."

The Office -- no quote this week

This was a weak episode that I could barely focus on because I was so ANNOYED. Can you seriously tell me that not one person in that office knows that sometimes people just get cold sores for no reason?? You don't catch them from someone else. In fact, I have been getting them since I was five so I'm pretty sure it's not an STD. Personally, I get them often when the seasons change.

That's my rant for today. Thank you.

The Office -- 10/7

The Office has just been okay this season so far, but this week was pretty darn brilliant, and I'm not even a big musical or Sondheim fan.

The Office quote of the week -- 9/30

Kelly Kapur to Dwight: "Your shirt and tie are disgust-o, barf-o."

The Office quote of the week -- Season Premiere

Creed, talking about following Luke the new guy's twitter page: "Everywhere I look, it's 'Betty White this' and 'Betty White that'. Finally, a kid who isn't talking about Betty White. Of course I follow him."

The Office quote of the week -- 5/20

Nick the IT guy, after telling everyone that he knows what's on their computers, says to Darryl, "You're on Facebook. Why do you tell everyone you're not on Facebook? People want to be your friend, man."

What is it about Facebook, anyway?

The Office quote of the week -- 5/13

Andy: "In any cheating movie, the person getting cheated on is the hero. You're Ali Larter, I am Beyonce."
Michael: "I'm always Beyonce."

The Office quote of the week -- 5/6

Michael, talking about his girlfriend: "She won't say I love you. I said it on the second date."
Oscar: "That seems quick. Even for lesbians."

Pam to Michael: "Don't let your imagination run out of control."
Michael: "That's easy for you to say. You have a bad imagination."